In my decades working with cancer patients as a psychotherapist, many patients have shared stories or narratives of their major life events, relationships, personal struggles and achievements. Being diagnosed with cancers such as mesothelioma can be a catalyst for reflection as patients face new future challenges.
Using the natural urge for reflection to help older populations, life review therapy developed as a structured psychological tool. Clinical studies with cancer patients show this practice also has significant benefits for these patients, reducing emotional distress and improving quality of life. In fact, growing research suggests people in all life stages, including children and adolescents, can benefit from this type of talk therapy.
A life review is the practice of recounting and sharing stories about events in our lives. More than simply reminiscing for nostalgia purposes, the goal of a life review is to find meaning in our lives and settle unfinished emotional business or relationship matters.
Contemplating or sharing memories of our achievements and difficult events we survived helps us validate our strengths and embrace our perseverance in the face of life’s challenges. Sharing our reflections of our lives can be done written or verbally.
Some mesothelioma patients have also shared with me that in addition to the psychological and physical challenges of their cancer, they also experience spiritual distress. For some coping with a mesothelioma diagnosis, improved spiritual wellbeing can come from an organized religion or individual spiritual practice. However, not all patients are comfortable with these frameworks. Some patients of different beliefs about spirituality report finding a sense of “spiritual peace” from a life review after receiving a mesothelioma diagnosis.
Life review therapy can take place in individual counseling sessions as well as group settings. Some cancer centers offer integrative oncology programs that include mental health programs. Your doctor can recommend a therapist or group session opportunities.
Prompts to Help You Start Your Life Review
Whether you’re joining a formal life review therapy group, attending individual sessions or want to try exploring this on your own first, prompts can help get you started. Reflecting on questions about your life and your feelings can help you access memories you may not have in the forefront of your mind.
In life review therapy, you may journal your memories or share them verbally. Sometimes patients are encouraged to do a combination of the two.
As you explore these prompts, make a note how you feel when you share certain memories. Look for the qualities that led you to overcome rough situations and helped you achieve your life’s accomplishments.
Life Review Prompts
Describe your family.
Discuss friends you’ve had over the years and why you were close.
What is your favorite childhood memory? Why?
What are you most proud of and why?
Who influenced you the most (positively and negatively?)
What are some difficult or painful events you survived? How did you get through them?
What was the best day of your life? What was the worst day?
What do you regret doing? Not doing?
What do you want future generations of your family to know about you?
The above prompts are only a starting point. Looking at old photos taken throughout your life can also trigger memories and feelings that can help you connect with the past.
How Can Caregivers Help With a Life Review?
As a mesothelioma caregiver to a loved one, if your loved one seems inclined to talk about their memories, you can help facilitate a life review with active listening. Using the same prompts I’ve suggested for patients can be a helpful starting point.
It’s not recommended to “interview” them with a series of questions, though. Give them space to share what they feel like sharing with you.
Non-judgmental reflective listening is all that it takes to set the stage for someone to share stories about their life. It can be a great bonding time and an opportunity to learn things about your loved one that you may not know.
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